I don’t recall exactly how I came across the book Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig but it was sometime last year, and I was completely unprepared for how it would inspire me. As I listened to the audiobook, I was astounded at how the words resonated so deeply within me. He spoke of depression and anxiety as a combination that many people experience when dealing with depression. Before listening to this book, I had never considered that I suffered with anxiety at all. Sure, I understood and accepted the fact that I do get anxious at times, but I never thought of those two fiends coming together to wreak havoc on my mental state.
In one section of the book, Haig shares his encounter with the terror of going to the corner store by himself in order to get some milk and other staples for his kitchen. Listening to the distress his anxiety caused him had my mind finding examples of when I used to suffer with the anxiety of just going outside. Suddenly, without any effort of my own, I finally developed the language to properly explain this thing that I did not know was a form of anxiety. And the words literally came pouring out of me, resulting in my May 2022 post “An Unwelcomed Companion” about my mild agoraphobia.
Mixed with personal anecdotes and facts and statistics about depression, anxiety and suicide, Matt Haig composed a deeply honest memoir/inspirational book that stayed with me long after I first listened to it. In fact, I could not get the book out of my head and so I listened to it again.
The second time I listened to Reasons to Stay Alive, Haig’s description of his social anxiety helped me find the words to describe my own. With a kind of humor that was also very painful to listen to, he recounted his agonizing discomfort at a literary party from which he ran off in a desperate attempt to relieve his panic. That anecdote helped me dig deep inside of myself, reminding me of times I attended social functions against my will and other times when inebriating myself just to feel comfortable out in public became a problem for me. I was able to release the shame through the words I used to describe the loneliness I felt in my discomfort whenever I went to a party or gathering. That’s when I published the post “Maddening Thoughts of Social Anxiety” in July 2022. Maddening thoughts— that was what they felt like. Before I knew that I suffered with social anxiety, I thought I was literally going crazy. It wasn’t “normal” to feel so awkward at social functions. I kept that shame to myself and drank my way through parties after which I hated myself for the risky actions I took while inebriated.
Compared to so many other audiobooks I have listened to, Reasons to Stay Alive comes in at just 4 hours and 13 minutes. It consists of a compelling list of reasons to stay alive, from “you will one day experience joy that matches this pain” to “the uncompromising love of a good dog”. He provides his personal thoughts about depression and anxiety, and of course, accounts of his own experiences with them. He reads his word with dramatic flair, helping the reader to understand the burden of depression, not just on the depressive but also on the people who care for the depressive. He describes his afflictions using various metaphors and examples that allow the reader to commiserate with him while understanding why depression is such a misunderstood illness.
If you have ever suffered with bouts of depression and anxiety, I highly recommend you pick up the book Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig. He put into words so many feelings, thoughts, and experiences that I had not yet had the language for. The book inspires me still. This is the third time I listened to it. My sole purpose this third time was to write about it because again, I just can’t get the book out of my head. I needed to share how it had encouraged me and how it helped me see depression in an entirely new perspective.
Does this resonate with you? Please leave a comment about what books you’ve read that inspired you despite your depression and anxiety. I’d love to hear from you!
Click here to check out the book on Amazon!
Cathy's Cross 
You must be logged in to post a comment.